Illusion of Desires
by Shadowfire10174
Summary: In the complexity of the human mind exists logic, emotions, and simple desires. Ai Haibara, a girl seen as a girl of logic, remains concealed in emotion. But even under that cold exterior she too has her own desires. It's going to take the crossing of a spiritual boundary to unveil what lies within.


Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan. All rights are reserved to the owner, Gosho Aoyama.**  
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A/N: Hello all. It's been nearly half a year since I posted anything. I apologize for being inactive for so long, but my schedule hasn't really been open these past months. I can't guarantee I'll be updating regularly, so forgive me if my updates are long. And let me note that I have not finished a previous story called "Shadow of a Detective" and that it may remain on hiatus until further notice. With a new story and a new plot, I hope it turns out well, so if you would all be so kind and give it a read and share your opinion it would be most appreciated.

Thank you. :D

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**~Illusion of Desires~**

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Chapter 1

**Arrival from Departure  
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How does one define a desire? We all possess it, a dream we all yearn for, but who can actually say that dream can ever be a reality? For some people they find it motivates them to overcome any obstacle that gets in their way only to reach their lifelong goal, while others leech off the pain in the inevitability that the foolish desire will ever come true.

I may just be sounding pessimistic, but in my eyes there is no place for useless desires such as those. At some point in my life there was a time when I had dreams. The sugar-coated thoughts, the senseless glee, and the carefree perspective of the world were all there before... but that was until my so called dreams became tainted with sheer blackness.

All dreams disappeared from that point. Not a single one left remained erased from my mind. All lost in the past, and none to form in the future. I can not go back to reclaim them. I can only move forward in hopes of finding a new one, but the chances there are highly unlikely.

But perhaps maybe... Just maybe I will find one someday.

"Would you knock it off already?"

"Huh?"

The sudden outburst brought me out of my thought sequence in sights of the lush, forested scenery I can see from the car window. Recapping, I recalled the professor having business to attend to with a client about his newest invention. In all the haste, he had brought me along for no apparent reason. But luckily though, I wasn't the only one swept in on this trip. Kudo-kun, who took some time until he finally agreed to come, along with the other children accompanied me.

I prepared a glare and turned the other direction, facing the bespectacled boy beside me.

"I hope for your sake you have a good reason for bothering me."

With a sneer of contempt, he turned away to avoid any direct eye contact, pretending to act cool.

"It's just you haven't moved in quite a while. It's not good for your circulation to remain still for long."

I merely sighed. As expected the reason of the disturbance had failed to even come close to precede expectations of pardon.

"Is that really any of your concern? You should just mind your own business."

"Well, I..."

"She's right!" A voice entered the conversation. Redirecting our attention to the other side of the car, a freckled boy retained a strong expression of disapproval. With a short delay he continued on.

"It's very impolite to bother someone for no reason. Her privacy needs to be respected."

Conan only rolled his eyes. Clearly he didn't want to be lectured by a child, even though his argument has proven some points, but the odds will soon pin against him.

Another girl, literally caught in the middle of the argument, felt her opinion needed be said as well. And with little hesitation she jumped right into the topic.

"I have to agree with Mitsuhiko-kun on this," she said reluctantly. "It's sweet that you care, but it did seem like Ai-chan was in the middle of something. It wasn't very polite to interrupt her like that."

"Eh? You too, Ayumi-chan?"

"So, there you have it Edogawa-kun," I said, smiling over the majority support. "It appears you owe me an apology."

"A what?" he turned to me, confused of what's happening right now.

Ayumi then turned forward for another voice to settle the dispute.

"What about you Genta-kun? What do you think?" she asked from the back.

There was silence. Not a sound was even attempted in return to the question given.

"Genta-kun?" she called out again. "GENTA-KUN!"

"Huh? Bwahh!" The large, round boy nearly toppled in his seat.

"Genta-kun, why didn't you say anything?"

The large boy had finally taken a grip on reality and turned facing the back of his seat. "Oh, sorry. I was daydreaming." He laughed, scratching the back of his head.

Ayumi stared flatly. It appeared it wasn't so funny for her.

"Genta-kun, that was very impolite."

"Well, I can't help it. We've been driving for hours!" he complained. "I'm bored out of my mind. Not to mention I'm getting hungry."

"Now, now, there's no need to worry," the middle-aged man assured from the driver's seat. "We should be there very soon."

"I hope the hakase's definition of soon means what it's suppose to mean and not just another word for later," Conan muttered in mild bitterness.

"Something as misconstrued as that could come into questioning," I said, fixing a glare to the boy beside me. "I could also say the same about your poor manners to a lady."

Conan returned, matching my glare, "Are you still on that? If it's that big deal for you then I'm sorry, okay?"

I smiled deviously, mentally celebrating my victory and more importantly his defeat. It was a simple satisfaction, yet it urged a craving for more later on.

"Well, it appears your death has been delayed for the time being. At least for now anyways."

He blinked a few times. The confusion in his expression with a hint of fear was clear to see, which only made me smile more in amusement.

"Wait, what?"

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**-I-**

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"We're finally here!" Genta practically cheered in relief.

One by one each of us exit the vehicle, taking in the new scenery as we step out.

Trees pretty much take up most of the landscaping, along with a few buildings tattered around it. Yet when I look at the other side, it looks more industrialized with restaurants, inns, and other necessities usually found in the cities. It would appear this small town is beginning to convert from it's old ways of tradition to today's more _modern_ lifestyle.

It's quite a shame to see things change. Whether it's for the best or the worst cannot be determined in our growing civilization. As our society continues to improve, the old disappear and are left as a faded remnant of the past lost forever to the advancement of life.

"This town wasn't always like this, you know?"

My train of thought came to a stop, and my attention turns to Kudo-kun, who appears to be staring off in the rural side of town.

"What was that?"

He blinked then came to a start again, "This little town was more of a place of spiritual retreat for enlightenment. But with today's modern influences it's become more of a tourist site." He pointed upward to the mountaintops and my eyes followed to the sight of an old temple, with a trail of stairs leading from the top to the bottom. "That temple up there is pretty much the only spiritual site left of this old town."

I stare at it for a moment, almost feeling sad about the fate of this place. But like many other sad things in this world, none can really fathom the sorrow I've been through. Compared to that, I could only feel pity for it.

"Thank you for the information," I said sarcastically, walking away. "If I wanted a back story of this place, I would've brought a travel guide."

Stepping away, I soon realize that I was a little harsh there. I feel him already staring at me. Who knows what he's probably thinking about. Why am I like this? Why do I bring others down when they've done nothing to me? I just don't get it... I never will.

"Hey, help carry the luggage into the inn!" the professor yelled out.

As instructed we grabbed our things and made our way to the inn. The others moved on ahead as I fall behind them. Literally, I could say I was dragging my feet against the pavement as I stare soullessly at the ground.

My mind is where I usually get lost in. Interacting with the real world is not something I tend to do often. I just want to block myself off from everyone. Filter the unwanted opinions, get away from society's rules, escape all the complications of life...

A world without any worry is all I want, but that's probably asking too much.

"You should pick up the pace. You're falling behind."

Raising my head, I looked to my side, seeing the young detective pacing himself along with me.

It's quite typical of him. His tone was plain and lacked any signs of anger. It's not like I expected him to hold a heavy grudge or anything, but sometimes I feel like he should. It seems like I would deserve it.

"Are you listening? I said—"

"I heard you. No need to repeat yourself," I replied nonchalantly, speeding past the overbearing detective.

Taking a glance back, I noticed a change in his expression. I couldn't tell exactly what I saw, but I could of sworn I saw him smile at me.

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**-I-**

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"Ah, Hakase Agasa. How was your trip? I hope it wasn't too much trouble getting here," greeted a man dressed in a brown suit, as we arrived at the front desk.

"It's fine. No trouble at all," Agasa replied.

"Well, that's great, but I still plan to keep the end of my offer. I wouldn't feel like such a good host if I didn't."

Taking a glimpse over to our direction, he could see definite confusion through our expressions. Apparently as a man of good manners, he wouldn't leave us dwelling in the dark of the situation.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You kids seem lost," he noticed, rubbing the back of his neck, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Let me introduce myself. My name is Masanobu Fujimoto, the proud owner of this inn."

"Wait, you're really the owner?" Mitsuhiko asked, having some doubts.

"That's correct," he answered in high spirits. "And may I add that I am also the one who invited the professor here to stay."

Now that's quite a surprise. It makes wonder what kind of invention the professor could of made that would interest this kind of man. It's quite strange, but I should give the professor a little more credit for his contraptions.

"It's strange though. I hadn't expected him to bring so many children along," Masanobu said, turning to Agasa. "Are they all yours, professor?"

"Ah, no," Agasa quickly replied, "I'm very acquainted with their parents is all. You should know I'm still single."

"I see," the man said, maintaining no change in his positive attitude. "Well, it's no problem, your stay here is still completely free of charge."

"Wait," Ayumi spoke up, "Did you say our stay here is..."

"Completely free of charge," he repeated, applying emphasis with a wink.

Our eyes grew wide. It certainly is an unexpected gesture of generosity we've been given. Now I can see why the professor had brought us along with him.

"Hold on," Genta jumped in. "Does that mean we get free food too?"

The man chuckled. Not in a way that would mock, but more of a pleasureful one.

"Yes, boy. Your meals are free as well."

Genta grinned. His excitement could be clearly seen through his ravenous expression. Hopefully, he can contain that excitement until dinner time.

"Well professor, why don't you come with me and I'll have the children brought to their rooms?"

With a snap of his finger, he called one of the inn attendants.

"Masao, bring these children up to their rooms."

A young male attendant stepped forward and bowed.

"Yes sir," he said, moving to us. "Follow me please."

As directed, we followed him upstairs, where we came across a large hallway. With doors on each side and the size of this inn to boot, it would appear this inn has a large occupancy for guests. It makes me wonder if this place is ever overbooked, but due to reasonable logic, I hold doubts that has ever happened.

We finally came to a stop at a door. The attendant inserted the key and with a twist unlocked it, opening the door for us to enter.

"Here you are. We hope you enjoy your stay."

"Thank you!" we all said in unison.

With our entry, the attendant then closed the door. The kids took in the luxury furnishings of the room, and were at near awe over it. Whether it was impressive or not did not matter to me. A room was just a room. Nothing more. Nothing less.

"Hey, look!" Mitsuhiko pointed over to a glass door, where it appeared to be where the terrace was.

"What is it, Mitsuhiko?" Ayumi asked in curiosity.

"Did you see something?" asked Genta.

"Come and I'll show you."

The three then ran over to the terrace. I could pick up some things from their conversation, but judging from the likes of it, it seem like they're only taking in the scenery.

With them occupied, I noticed Kudo-kun standing by the beds with a puzzled look on his face. It had me wondering what was going through his head, so I approached him to find out.

"Hey, Kudo-kun."

"Hm? Oh, Haibara."

"What are you doing?"

He returned his attention to the beds. It appears he was captivated with some sort of problem.

"It's just that I noticed there are only two beds here."

"I can see that. What's your point?"

"Well..." he hesitated for a moment. "Do you think this bed could fit us all?"

I raised a brow. I was utterly speechless. For a detective, who can basically answer many impossible questions, he sure can ask a stupid one like that.

"Hey, what's with that look?" he asked, returning the same annoyed facial expression.

Where do I begin? If I corrected him straight up, it would quickly end this issue. But, there wouldn't be any fun in that, now would there? I believe a little manipulation is in order.

"Now, you aren't suggesting we sleep together, are you Kudo-kun?"

His face quickly flared up. "What? No, I mean yes, but not like that," he stuttered, then dropping to an awkward silence.

The way he acts so flustered. I find it kinda cute. Quite a golden opportunity to see his one moment of weakness. As amusing as it is, there's no need drag it out even more. I've had my fun, so it's time to end it.

"Relax. I knew what you meant. Besides, I think it's likely we'll be given another room," I reasoned. Hearing that calmed him down, but I can still see a hint of reddish hue over his face.

"Well, I guess that would make more sense," he agreed, sounding a little embarrassed.

"Your face is still red by the way. I can tell you were thinking about some inappropriate things."

His brows furrowed. It seems I struck nerve there. I predict he'll attempt to make a comeback to save what little pride he has left. For me having experience with these kinds of situations, I know it's best not to get in the way of his reply and let him say what he has to say.

"Now hold on—"

"Wait," I interrupted before he had a chance to defend himself. It was not intentional though. There was actually a matter that concerned me. "You notice something, right?

"Huh? Notice what?" he questioned, apparently have forgotten about the previous subject.

"The kids. They're gone."

"What!" he instantly turned toward the terrace, seeing it vacant. He also noticed the door to the hall was open as well. "Wait, where did they— When did they—"

"How could you have not noticed? I thought you had more acute senses than that."

"Well, that's because you distracted me."

"Oh? So, it's my fault now?"

Well, isn't he just another typical male? Always finding someone else to blame. I find it quite sad that someone like him would still stoop so low. But thinking about it more thoroughly, I really shouldn't be so surprised. We are talking about _him_ after all.

"Well, instead of standing here pointing fingers and wasting even more time, shouldn't we go look for them?" I suggested, actually pitching in something intelligent.

He groaned audibly, almost sounding like a growl. I can tell he never did enjoy giving in to me, but he should be well aware when he is defeated. With a sigh expressing his settling mood, he conceded.

"You're right. Let's go."

With the matter settled, he stormed out the door.

I stood behind for a moment, pondering over him. For so long, he baffles me. He's a simple boy, yet very complex. His determination, the way he acts childish sometimes, and his denseness. Not many things would get by him. At least if it concerned things from the mind, but if from the heart... Well, he wouldn't know what hit him there.

Thinking over something so trivial, I smirked. Why question something when there is no answer to it? All thoughts aside, I ended my sequence and tailed after that complicated boy.

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**-End of Chapter 1-**

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**To be continued...**

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